As you know I went missing for about a week recently. I disappeared to my uncle´s funeral in Mexico. He was that cool uncle that took me to all the Rock concerts when I was too young to go. The one that covered for me in front of my parents and picked me up from anywhere anytime. The joker. The one that totally backed me up when I wanted to move to Australia. The dear uncle that was gone (way too early) with one heart attack going up the stairs to a 6th floor.
Ironically, his favorite song was Led Zepelin´s “Stairway to Heaven”. True story. And I am playing it right now.
I left Mexico with a shattered heart and a knot in my throat. I believe in an afterlife and I know he is ok. What worries me is the one´s he left behind and how hard Christmas will be for all of us this year.
I would have loved to stay longer in Mexico to be with the family but my inlaws are coming to visit us in NY and well… life does go on – as hard as it may be. And from all the amazing support and messages I received from you guys during that week, I know a couple of you are going through something similar. Nothing will fill our loved one´s place. Not ever. And grieving is a process that works differently for all of us but maybe a slight change of focus could help us get through the holiday season.
I say we keep our intentions focused on three things:
1. Being with the people we still have around. It may be a sad time, but don´t neglect the people around you because you are sad. Focus on spending time with them – we truly never know how much longer we will have them around.
2.The good things that person left us. Be it a trait, a lesson or something in our lives that makes a difference. Make sure you use that person´s life as inspiration to do what you love. Wether they lived the life they dreamt of, or not, there is always something to take from someone´s life. Let that life mean something and honor it.
3.The future. It´s harsh and I am not saying to forget about them. Don´t. But it is important to stay functional and not lock ourselves in grieving – it will only make it harder. Make plans, chase dreams and get up in the mornings. If it still feels too soon, prepare plans for a few weeks from now and get a routine until the pain, slowly starts to settle.
With that said. Deep breath. Chin up and stay positive.
Much, much love to all those who just lost somebody.